Don't you send me to vm
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
