If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
