You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
