Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
