Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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