doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
