Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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