How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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