What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think i got beer on your cat.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
