Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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