sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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