I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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