Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
