i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
