yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize