it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
