Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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