so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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