Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
