hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize