omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
