And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize