i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
