So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Every concussion has its silver lining
Found the puke drawer
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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