you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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