when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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