covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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