whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
