Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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