dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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