At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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