You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
