im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
