OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
