we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
