I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize