Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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