so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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