Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
