Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
