An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
