rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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