THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize