I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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