Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
