Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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