Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
