barbara walters just said penis...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
