she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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