That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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