im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
