arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
