Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
