The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
