So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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