What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
