he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
