I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize