I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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