The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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