just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
